How to Survive a Nigerian Wedding Reception

by - December 15, 2018

How to survive a Nigerian wedding reception

1. Find yourself a good seat. 

You might wonder why I would start with this item on the list but where you sit would determine whether you have a good time or leave the reception with a sour temper.

The best seat should be close to the caterer's table, this means that you can easily get to food and drinks without too much tussle but you most likely would not be getting a second plate for those of us who like to eat double portions at events.

Another good place is to sit amongst women on the uniform because whatever they bring to their table you'd definitely get. Those women are usually associates of the bride's or groom's mother. They always treat these women especially because they're afraid of offending them.

Yes, you read right.

Those women probably belong to the same club or association as the mothers of the couple so they would love to spoil them, it's their way of showing off.
They do not want their children's wedding to be the source of the latest bad gossip so they make sure these women are pampered if there should be any tale to tell it would be of good report, so they get the choicest of souvenirs, food and drinks and plenty of extras to take home.

If you can't get a seat at their table, at least get a sit close to theirs. The oil of privilege would rub off you.
Another cool place you should consider sitting at is close to the almighty high table especially if the sitting arrangement places the dignitaries on the same floor with the audience. This table is a table of priority, it is where the money spenders are seated so they're usually the first to be served, so if you sit close to this table you might be the next to get served after the dignitaries.

2. Forgive in advance everyone that would annoy you, because definitely there are people that would offend you.
The women that would pack off everything from the table, the women that would block your view with their trampoline gentle, the jollof rice distributor that would snub you.
Go to the wedding reception ready to forgive everyone and anyone that offends you.

3. The chairman's speech might turn into another sermon, so forgive him in advance or you can use your phone as entertainment while the sermon goes on.
I really don't understand why a chairman has to present a speech at a wedding reception ceremony. Most of them turn into another Bible charging sermon and this isn't fair seeing as we've just come from the church ceremony and the guest is basically at the reception to unwind and celebrate with the couple.

 4. The MC might be unfunny and slow. Talking about things that aren't related to weddings and boring us with tasteless jokes.
The MCs who annoy me the most are those who chip in activities and games into the ceremony, most of these activities are usually in bad taste and not freaking necessary especially when the ceremony is already behind schedule and people are itching to go home.

Just move on already so we can go to our homes.

5. This might be hard for a lot of us but also consider the fact that the people in charge of foods are humans and therefore imperfect. At most Nigerian weddings the persons in charge of foods and drinks are mostly relatives and friends of the couple. They aren't experts and might be overwhelmed by this responsibility, so contrary to what you believe they aren't demigods who have decided to ignore your pleas for nutrition, they're humans who are most likely confused and probably getting frustrated by being dragged to and fro just to please you.
This is why I encourage everyone to eat at home before attending a Nigerian wedding reception.
I know that item 7 is already a part of the event but just eat before venturing out of your house,  so you don't leave the reception sour and hungry.

An unsatisfied guest can mar a wedding's reputation. The reason why you're probably telling everyone the wedding was just there  might be because you didn't get anything to eat or because the occasion dragged on for too long or because the MC made a distasteful joke but if you follow the advice I've given in the five steps above, you would have a better time.

Do you think there are other ways in which one can successfully survive a Nigerian wedding reception?
Please drop your suggestions in the comment section and is be sure to reply.

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Thank you for reading ❤❤❤

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  1. Hahahahah... Finding a good seat is number one for me... Major reason why I don't even attend the church service.. .
    Food must get to me, I did not leave my comfort not get food. Anyways when this usually happens, I walk up to the servers and let them know people including myself haven't gotten food, and I make sure we are served