I am a 25-year-old woman who has been fat for over 10 years now, so yes at some point in my life I have been fat-shamed.
Now here’s the shocker, yesterday for the first time, I truly felt ashamed of being fat.
I felt the hot shame rise from my big fat belly and sharply pierced my heart, of course, I smiled broadly to make my abuser comfortable.
I didn’t want her to know that her words were getting to me, I didn’t want her to feel guilty for verbally abusing me.
Yesterday, I went to support a “friend” who was launching her fashion store, I travelled all the way from Ogun state to Lagos state because that is what friends do.
I left home pretty early because I wanted to be there on time and help as I had promised, I didn’t even have breakfast at home.
We got to the store, unpacked the new goods, arranged everything on the shelf, btw she’s having an official store opening on Saturday (hallelujah).
I started feeling dizzy at some point, I checked the time and I realized it was already past 1 PM and I hadn’t had breakfast yet, so I decided to get some snacks to fuel my obviously tired body. I didn’t eat the previous night because I’m on this diet where you eat just once a day (fat people are always on a diet)
I bought sausage roll and a carbonated drink (bad diet choice, I know), I should have probably gone for some cucumbers or some garden eggs because fat people should never be caught eating unhealthy in public.
I sat on the floor by a corner of the shop eating(there are no chairs yet) when she said loudly, “keep eating oh, you’re not tired of being fat” and everyone else was laughing,
It was at that moment I felt shame unlike any other for the first time in my adult life, my body was literally shaking because I had spent hours helping you set up your shop and this is
my reward for taking a food break, this ridicule and public display of mockery for my body size.
I immediately told myself to get over it, I smiled, tucked the remaining snacks in my bag and just kept on arranging the shoe shelves like a zombie. I sneaked outside and dumped the remaining snacks into a bin.
But, I will never forget the shame I felt that day.
Despite what has happened, I do not feel angry towards her because she might have been coming from a good place, and I guess I’m used to people’s unsolicited opinion about my body size.
But I expected basic human kindness at the very least from someone whom I call a friend.
I would never go out of my way to shame a friend in public especially about something I know they struggle with.
Or maybe I’m just another fat bitch whining about nothing.
What are you currently reading this week, care to share?